Upon entering college many of us had the same, conventional picture painted in our minds. A fanciful image depicting the "proper" evolution of adulthood. It's the assumption that every girl will fall head over heels in love during freshmen psychology class, leaving the to history. This twisted belief is exactly what's skewing 20-somethings perceptions of what is supposed to take place during and after college.

This intriguing image causes us to believe that everyone is meant to find true love in the midst of their educational journey's. To most, a simple exchange of bashful smiles towards the hottie in the corner during week one of math class, a little flirting during week two, and an exchange of phone numbers in week three all adds up to achieving that ring by spring. After graduation would come the much anticipated engagement, followed by a peach-themed vintage wedding a year later. I said it once and I'll say it again, if only life was perfect. Or in this case, a fairytale. Sure, life does play out this way for a lucky few, but what about those of us who weren't so lucky? How are we supposed to meet a man who matches every criteria on our checklists after we are pushed outside the security and exclusivity of our college bubbles? Will we have to put fate aside for the night and hope to find "the one" at a local bar? Are we destined to bump into him at the gym or in the cereal isle at the grocery store? Instead of finding 20-something year old college graduates at these supposed breeding grounds for love, we hopelessly find drunken creepers, arrogant douche bags and men with rings on their fingers or a baby in the arms. I've personally been weening myself off the possibility of finding my prince charming sitting at a bar one day. Who even sits at bars anymore? Oh, so I'm supposed to find the love of my life getting down on dance floor, hitting on anything with boobs. The only thing these men are looking for are girls who are drunk enough to go home with them and insecure enough to be ignored the next morning. No thank you. I'll skip the hangover and spend my Saturday nights on the couch living vicariously through Carry Bradshaw falling in love the men at her local bar instead.
Since meeting someone at a bar is obviously out of the question, I sometimes think about the possibility of finding my future husband at the gym. At first it seems easy enough. Young, attractive men and women mingling in an enclosed space who already share the common passion for working out. Then, I look a little bit closer. How are we supposed to strike up a conversation with a man bumping techno through his headphones while simultaneously working out his pecs? Waving our hands and shouting "HEY, I THINK YOU'RE CUTE" might come off just a little bit desperate. Others believe that men are the ones who should be striking up the conversations with those he finds attractive. I don't know about you, but I sure as hell am too ugly  and sweaty for a man to even consider approaching me at the gym. Do us women really need to transform ourselves into pin up models even while working out for guys to notice us these days? We aren't going to get in shape if we aren't allowed to sweat. If that's the case I might as well get two gym memberships, one for working out and one for looking cute. Maybe I'll find the love of my life that way? Our parents, and quite possibly our older siblings had it a lot easier than we currently do in the love department. Both men and women were classier back in the day and they definitely weren't too socially handicapped to approach one another at the local bar or park. The fact that they didn't grow up communicating solely through social media has made them so much more approachable. It's our own generations fault that we have dating problems, tossed up with a side of insecurities.  Always having to look perfect, be perfect, talk perfect and seem perfect is taking a tole on society. Eating disorders are through the roof, and more people than ever are hiding behind internet, too scared to step into reality, for the fear of rejection is too high.  On top of everything, the invention of dating sites like eHarmoney and Christian Mingle cause many of us to believe that we can always fall back on the internet to find love. But what happens when the guy you virtually winked at is a fat 65 year old grandpa using his sons identity to get women? What if the Craigslist killer wanted to stir things up a bit and use eHarmoney to find his next victim? Save yourself the awkward string of blind dates, go on Facebook chat and connect with that guy from aerobics class you've always had your eye on. Better yet, text the man you think has some potential and invite him over for a movie night. Or more simply (and with less strings attached), take your dog to the local beach, strike up a conversation with a complete stranger, and hope for the best.

11/17/2014 7:59am

Very well said. It really does seem that the social media side of things is leaving us less and less capable of dating the old-fashioned way. And how many times does it happen now that if you do meet for a date in real life - the other person will be scrolling through their Twitter or Instagram feed and will seem to have the attention span of a gnat.
Although the internet has brought about many positive changes, I do feel that in the dating side of things - it really hasn't helped.
A very interesting read, thanks!


Leave a Reply.


    August 2012