You said it, Alanis! But in all seriousness, why must the inevitable always take place? Today, I woke up at 6:00am, rubbed my eyes and looked over at my roommates bed with a sigh, just as I always do. The first things I usually see when my vision comes into focus is my roommate sleeping soundly on her stomach, but today was different. Instead of envy filling my veins at the sight of her curled up in a comfortable ball on her bed, I saw nothing.
I figured she got too drunk last night and ended up staying at a friends house. Lucky me, I thought, as I rolled out of bed and flipped the light switch on. Today was the first time since moving into this new apartment that I was able to get dressed with the lights on. Needless to say, my clothes matched a little bit better today. But let me tell you, the rest of my morning did not go so smoothly. Alanis Morissette's famous line "traffic jam, when you're already late" came into play the moment I opened my bedroom door. Lets just say I took a couple extra minutes picking out my cloths this morning, considering I could differentiate my blacks from my greys for once. So, when I stepped foot into the hallway I was already about 10 minutes behind schedule. When I looked to my left I saw my roommate passed out on the couch still dressed in her clothes from the night before, high heels and all. I paused for a moment, made sure her stomach was moving up and down to signify life, and moved on to the bathroom. And you guessed it, right before my eyes, passed out on the bathroom floor was my roommates boyfriend. He was sprawled out on his stomach with vomit surrounding his head and the toilet. I made sure he was still breathing as well and started to brush my teeth. Of course I had to pee, but was not about to drop my pants in front of a fairly random stranger and sit in his vomit. Let's just say I decided to hold it until I got to work. I ended having to brush my teeth and finish getting ready in the dark. Hopefully my matching outfit made up for my shitty hair and makeup today. Things can only go up from here, right? You would think. That definitely wasn't the case this morning. I walked out into my kitchen and noticed that my roommate slept with our front door wide open, all night long. Let's just say we don't live in the quaintest of neighborhoods, so I was only a little sketched out. Lucky for me, the TV wasn't stolen and I wasn't murdered or abducted in my sleep. As the morning progressed I ended up using expired creamer, had to brew another cup of coffee, and ended up leaving 15 minutes late for work. And you guessed it, I was stuck in horrible traffic and arrived at work 35 minutes late.